First Day Of Spring-> reflections, photos, thoughts, ramblings

Well, technically, Monday was the first day of Spring, but iTunes is playing that song by Noah and the Whale, so I used it as my title.

You know, I used to write about in depth things like my emotions and my dreams and aspirations.  I used to consider myself ambitious and passionate.  I would seriously think for hours a day how and how soon I could change the world.  My dreams and my daydreams consisted of me traveling the world, taking photos, helping people, being a blessing...doing what I was called by God to do.  My sophomore, junior, senior years in high school were spent not doing homework, but taking pictures, cooking, reading, hanging out with friends, going to church, growing closer to God, and figuring out what non-profit organization I wanted to be a part of or begin.  It wasn't just me with these goals and hopes and prayers, though.  There were a few other people whose dreams were as monumental as mine.

Then, it seemed like one day after sleeping, my dreams were no longer important.  College came and  photojournalism wasn't in my future anymore, I thought.  Traveling, helping, teaching, being a blessing wasn't in my head anymore.  I still cannot figure out why that happened.

I may never know.

I could take a few stabs at it...maybe it was all the free time in High School that lead me to daydream.  Maybe it was college and "growing up" that perhaps pointed me towards the direction that my dreams were childish or unimportant (which they are not).  I really don't know.

As I'm sitting here writing this, I am thinking to myself that I don't have answers and that my brain is mush.  I'm thinking that I still have those ambitions to travel and take photos and be a blessing, but it may not come at a time when I expect it.  God has never let me down.  I worry about my future--what career I'll have, if I'll be able to get by on the amount of money I'll make, if I'll be able to provide for my family, where I live, blah de blah de blah.
God has never let me down.
And He never will.
So, regardless of if I'm worried about getting caught up on my 365 or getting in shape or figuring out stuff with transferring or moving or anything with school or something like spreading the Gospel to people in Africa or taking photos for the glory of God or buying two homeless guys a pizza, God will provide, love, guide, and never leave me.

That's one thing I'm sure of.
I'll never know exactly what the future holds, and that is exciting and that is terrifying.
I don't even know what I'm thinking half the time.
That's why this post is pretty jumbled.

But I guess the moral of whatever this was is this: I love God and He'll be there.
Yay!


Here are my 365's...

77/365

 78/365

Also,

I'm so glad the weather is warm.

I've been drinking a lot of iced vanilla lattes.  They are so good.

I had one today.  And yesterday.  And the day before.

I also had a green tea lemonade from starbucks.  I generally don't go to starbucks, but I made an exception for one of those bad boys.

I've been running every other night. 

Because I got a new bathing suit that I gotta look fly in ;)

And I did sprints tonight.  Who am I?

Also, this is my life since school started back up from Spring Break (I feel like I haven't slowed down in 72 hours):

Monday--wake up, drive to Tulsa, shower, get dressed, get coffee, go to class, get punched in the face by empending due date of paper, go to lunch, go make copies of taxes, check on admissions status at UCO, go to class, make fool of oneself, write paper, edit paper, upload a million 365's, go watch Pretty Little Liars, go run, come back to apartment, cold shower, talk to Ethan, read the Bible, read Faulker, fall soundly and happily asleep.

Tuesday--wake up, read Bible, read Faulker, look at paper written previous day, to go Jesus class, dominate the Apostle's Creed in class, quick lunch, mail stuff to IRS, design class with the stupid, impossible, pain cardboard chair that I completey annihilated and destroyed and cut parts off to redesign and hot glue back together, work on chair for 7 straight hours, burn hands with hot glue, cut self with cardboard, walk to subway, get sandwich, walk to improv, eat sandwich, IMPROV, improv, improv, walk, sit ups, talk to Ethan, read the Bible, bed time.

Today--wake up at 7:50, which is really early for me, revise paper and print out, read Faulker, take a shower, study for a test, get dressed, look fly ;), grab coffee with Allie, take test and turn in paper, walk out of class to lunch, read Faulker, eat, read Faulker, go to class, dominate any and every question with anything to do with The Sound and The Fury, walk back to apartment, change clothes, go run errands and thrift, back to apartment, laundry, PLS room for ANTM, ACAC for Relay For Life Captain's meeting, run and do sprints, back to apartment, talk to Ethan, take a shower, take photos, talk more with Ethan, blog blog blog, and now I'm here.

Also, 

I love William Faulkner.

I'm so glad I'm taking American Writers.  My professor is so sarcastic and chill.  He makes the class good.  And all the works we've read have been pretty wonderful.

Also,

I'm an English major, but I never really type out in complete sentences or use punctuation normally.  Stream of consciousness is how I do it, YEAH YEAH!

Also,

I use the world "also" a lot.  Even when unnecessary.  Obviously.

Also, 

Go read my friend Sydney's blog.  She's such a light.

Also,

I bought my first ever pair of jeggings today.  I actually told myself forever that I'd never by leggings to wear as actual pants.  I also told myself I'd never wear skinnies, oxfords, or grandma clothes.

Holla!

Also also also also also also.

ALSO!!!

Okay, you're probably very annoyed.  And I am very tired.

You are loved, did you know?